Feeling… Different?
I’ve been feeling a little awkward lately, in ways that I can’t always describe as well as I’d like to.
It feels like that safe, secure ground beneath me is shaking and ripping and turning into something I don’t fully understand. Or maybe in some ways don’t want to. Everything I honestly thought I was is gone, with only pieces and tiny fragments left for me to use. Maybe I’m calmer, kinder, happier, dumber.. or just done with high school?
I can’t say I know anything about who I am any more, and so I’m getting more and more desperate to figure it out. Who am I? What am I? Where do I want to be? What do I want? -With my life? -To study? -To be? -To wear? What makes me happy?
I guess I’m back at the place I was when I was 16. Wiser, more confident and self secure, of course, but just as confused. So, same thing as last time. I’ll be reading articles like “The Art of Building Self-Esteem” and “The Art of Patience” (the names match!) for a longer period, I’m guessing. While watching Gossip Girl, along with all my usual werewolf/horror movies.